Monday, December 15, 2014

5MM 12/14/14

By NiNY

Last night Doubles, Mason and I went deep on the topic of: who is this Wild team? What do we know about them? Were the pre-season projections on the money? I'll admit, we went a little long. But it was worth it. Give it a listen.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

5MM 11/30/14

By NiNY

Doubles, Mason, and myself tonight. And it was the all-Scandella special episode!

Lotsa love for the big guy, and deservedly so.

Give 'er a listen!

Friday, November 28, 2014

Live Drunk Blog 11-28-14 Wild at Dallas

Beer numero uno: Summit Extra Pale Ale

Clymer on with the bimbo. Much better than Chorske.

Fun story. A buddy was at a Gophers game back in the day, and said out loud, "Man that Clymer is really a bust. So glad they spent so much time recruiting him. Clymer's mom and dad were right behind my friend and were not amused.

Good pressure early, and a dumb offensive zone penalty on Dallas, fucking asshole tried to go knee on knee. You can't tell me that was a coincidence that they tried to take out one of the Wild's hottest players.

Hey Brodin is back? That gives me a stiffy.

Wow, nice clear by Brodziak.

And, hey the Wild are winning the Corsi so far tonight.

Beer numero dos: New Belgium Tour de Fall Pale Ale. Hoppy for a pale ale.

(Why am I remembering "Hey Stiffler, how's the pale ale?")

Hey a Colorado beer is opened an Nino scores. Awesome.

Holy Cows!!

Oh, nice uncalled high stick to take out Brodziak.

Why is Spurgeon shooting the puck more than the forwards? I guess I should be happy someone has the stones to shoot it.

Nice to see Haula just take the shot and not pass up the opportunity.

Love Zucker's new two way game it's arousing me.

Hey Nino looks ready to give moustache rides.

Ugly 3 on 1. Ugh.

Beer tres: Summit Great Northern Porter. The quintessential Minnesota winter beer.

You know, I just can't look at Daryl Sydor without remembering him jumping gaily into Yeo's arms when the Wild beat the Avalanche.

Kuemper is looking good tonight.

Dallas played that odd man rush like a bunch of frat boys with a used condom.

Kuemper looks very cool tonight.

Dallas passed on a primo chance faster than Vanek would have.

Granny with a huge goal. That's how you pass your way to a goal. Thomas Vanek, please take notes.

Holy mother of fuck, Zucker is fast. It's making me...happy in a marital way.

Dallas arena is playing "Get Lucky" is that for the fans or the team?

Like, wow, Brodin makes sexy passes.

Oh, and Hemsky scores. Isn't he like 80 years old?

Vanek passes. That's like 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink. Shocker.

Goddammit. Another fucking Dallas goal. Time to lock this shit down. Hey, you ever notice how this and shit have the same letters, just in a different order?

Goddammit. Tie fucking game. Cole looks like a trogolodyte. Like, seriously, is he the missing link? Someone get his DNA.

Beer quart. Qua. Quarto. Fuck it. Beer four:New Glarus Spotted Cow. Smoooooth.

Intermission show. Clymer totally wants to bone the bimbo.

Hey its the DQ douchebag. Someone needs to kick this guy in the nuts. Hard.

We'll, that game refresh gave me flashbacks of the Rangers game.

Beer something: Summit Extra Pale Ale. Right back where we started. In a can.

Wow, I do not like Kuemper that far out of his net.

Benn with a moustache looks like that one uncle I was told never to be alone with. (yeah, I ended my sentence with a preposition. Fuck you.)

Wow, I would not have expected Haula to be in the middle of that.

Hey, Pommer took a shot. Lately he's been emulating his Buffalo compatriot.

Koivu took a shot too? This is a red letter day!

This just in, Eaves is a dick.

Beer 6? Another Summit Extra Pale Ale. In your can.

What the shit is this fuck. Nino tripped and Dallas scores the other way??! Well there's a load of shit.

Wow Yeo looks pissed. Time to answer.

Time to pull the goalie. But, uh, you need a shooter if you're gonna do this here.

Vanek scores! Wait. Vanek shoots! Vanek shoots?

I think Vanek shot because there was no one to pass to.

Dry scrape, wait, no dry scrape.

SCANDALOUS! Marco wraps this one up!

I have, like, three boners for this win. But first I have to go throw up.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

5MM 11/23/14

By NiNY

Real solid ep tonight. Talked about the power play, obviously, and Nino. And some other stuff.

Give it a listen.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Live Drunk Blog 11-20-14: Wild at Flyers

Tonight I will be treating you to one of my classic Live Drunk Blogs, wherein I watch a Wild game and drink myself silly. Will I be happy or belligerent after the game? Check back and find out!

Beer #1: Summit Extra Pale Ale

This game should be rounding out the first period by now. Where's the damn game. Oh, they're honoring LeClair and Lindros? I guess I shouldn't make any conkie jokes tonight. Dammit.

FSN is instead showing me a shitload of Chorske. Like, way more Chorske than any sane person should have to see

Gorg and Nino,  aka Beauty and the Beast.

Bullshit non call on the Ballard tackle.

Beer #2: Summit Great Northern Porter. Malty and slightly metallic, a good winter beer.

Not happy at the shot differential early. Or how much running around is going on. The Wild aren't establishing their game.

Oh look, Jan the Toyota Bimbo.

How in the hell is Simmonds an alternate captain?

Bad clear by Darcy.

I like how Parise draws penalties.

And Vanek takes a deflection shot from the crease. That's supposedly his wheelhouse, but color me unimpressed.

I'm curious how many times Greenlay will mention that Schultz used to play for the Wild. Three times so far.

Jesus F. The Wild are just letting the Flyers do what they want. This is not the time to take a pen - goddammit.

Yeah this is not what I'd call a "good road period" but oh man Kuemper is sexy tonight.

Beer #3: New Glarus Spotted Kuemper, in honor of Cow.

What did I miss, other than another impotent Power Play?

Oh snap look at that Nino goal.

Dammit, Dumba! And wow, Philly has a long goal horn. Compensating for something?

Holy fuck that was a long penalty delay. And I did not like that hit on Granlund. Not one little bit.

Beer #4: Summit Pilsner. 2 things. When the fuck did I ever buy this and when did they go to pry offs? My hand is cut to shit.

Nice goal by sacandella. But it doesn't mean shit if they give back the momentum.

Awww, it's like Schultz (Former Wild player) wanted to help his old team by taking out Emery.

Yeah I'll take Carter for Voracek every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

But, no Mikko. Fuck that. Koivu is one tough motherfucker, so it must be bad.

Oh, I get it now. Laughton, not Lawton. I should probably stop giggling when I hear that name.

Ryan Carter looks kinda molestery with that 'stache.

I say again that Kuemper looks sexy tonight.

Wait, there's that long goal horn again.

The Wild have to get better at lock - oh snap look at Zucker go.

Alright lock this shit down.

Ok. Good win. I need to pee.

5MM 11/16/14

By NiNY

I was out of pocket for this one, so Mike, Mase and Doubles rocked it out.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

5MM 11/9/14

By NiNY

Doubles was away, so Mike, Mase, and I held it down tonight.

Little different look than last week, considering how the Wild has lost three-straight.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

5 MM: 11/2/14 Edition

By NiNY

Had the whole crew on tonight, including Doubles from a penalty box at a local rink - now THAT's hockey, my friends!

We gushed a little bit about the Wild, talked about all the offense we're getting from the defense, and then blew some sunshine up Haula's and Brodin's arses. 'Twas a good old time.

Do yourself a favor and giver her a listen.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

5MM: 10/26/14

By NiNY

The latest in our hit podcast series, the 5 Minute Major.

I had to kick Mike, Doubles and Mason into the pool to see if they could swim without my help tonight, but they did a great job.

Give 'er a listen.

Reminder: Wild Xtra

By NiNY

Just a reminder that our written stuff - and the written stuff of 7 other guys - can now be found at Wild Xtra. The site is off to a great start, with good content and a strong and growing community that is you short of awesome.


Recent articles by your favorite HTP writers:

Mason, with the sneaky Archer pull in the title, no less, continues his excellent Sixer series with an entry on the hockey words/phrases that give him the greatest agita.

Mike with a little insight into the goings on in Denver.

And Doubles has been doing game previews that are comprehensive and well-written.

Please stop by, register and give us a shout.