Monday, September 7, 2009

If hockey were more like baseball


As we sit here and while away the days until another sport finally starts (for most of us, waiting for hockey, for me, it's football and hockey), I decided to poke some fun at certain baseball rules or quirks and consider what they would be like in hockey. So, without further ado...

*There would be a "designated forward" but used only in either the Western or Eastern Conference, not both. This is someone whose only skill is scoring goals who will come off the bench once the puck crosses the red line into the attacking end, replacing someone who always should stay in the defensive end, like a Hal Gill or Rob Scuderi type. Once the puck goes back to the defensive end, the DF goes off the ice. (Baseball equivalent: the designated hitter.)

*The coaching staff wouldn't be dressed in sharp, expensive suits. They would be suited up in hockey pants, hockey socks, sweaters, and yes, even helmets. There might even be a rash of sales for certain coaches' jerseys. (Hey, I'll buy a Mike Babcock sweater. Wouldn't you?)

*Eric Godard vs. Derek Boogaard? Pfft. Even this or this (fast forward to the 2:45 mark) would be considered tame.

No, what we would see is this or this. And it would all be legal with very few suspensions, since baseball is rather weak when it comes to discipline.

*Hockey players would have egos.

*There would be nothing like Ryan Malone playing in the Stanley Cup Final in 2008 after breaking his nose. Not only because hockey players are tougher, but because baseball players don't break their noses. No, they get hurt from things like sneezing, sleeping, carrying luggage, shoeing a horse (seriously, I said SHOEING A HORSE), taking off a pair of boots, opening a DVD package with a steak knife...I could go on. This is just one article listing a slew of freak baseball injuries.

*Blackhawks fans would throw pucks back onto the ice if they went out of play.

*If a player or coach gets ejected from a hockey game, we might see more of this.

That's all for now. I hope you enjoyed it. There may be a Part 2, or 3, or who knows, maybe even 4. The gods know there are many head-scratchers attached to the world of baseball.

1 comment:

Goody said...

Love it!

On the other hand, if baseball were played on ice instead of grass and dirt, I'd consider watching it. In my humble opinion, 90% of the world's sports could be improved by changing the playing surface to a sheet of ice.