Wednesday, March 10, 2010


The League has condoned hits to the head in the nature of the Mike Richards hit on David Booth or the Matt Cooke hit on Marc Savard. Apparently, because these types of hits will likely be illegal next season, and because the league is on record as not suspending Richards earlier this season, the league feels its hands are tied.

So here's the drill:

As long as you don't leave your feet, or have your elbows come up or away from your body, and you lead with your shoulder and/or your shoulder is the first part of your body to come into contact with the other player's head, YOU WILL NOT GET SUSPENDED THIS SEASON.

Got a big intra-division game with playoff implications coming up? TAKE OUT THEIR STAR PLAYER!

Got a buddy on another team that's in better playoff position than you? If you're playing a team that is in your buddy's team's way, GO AHEAD AND CRUSH THEIR GOALIE.

Not only will you not have to face the music (but for a pro forma scrum immediately after the hit where you will be called derogatory names and the sexual proclivities of your mother questioned) due to, among other things, the instigator, but you might not even get a minor penalty - and a suspension? Forget about it!

Now, this is a limited time offer. Once a team skates around with the Cup this spring/summer, it's over. Because next year, ho boy, next year Colin Campbell's gonna get medieval on your ass for this kind of disgusting, dangerous, wreckless, disrespectful hit.

But this year? THIS YEAR, that kind of hit is straight kosher, bro.


In other news, Toyota has reversed course on its reaction to the accelerator issues some of its models are exhibiting. In a statement, the embattled auto maker said "We have decided to rescind the recall notice. We recognize there is a problem, and we will correct it for the next model year. But current owners of cars with problems will not be considered for reparations."


1 comment:

Dampland said...