Night of blowouts and first goals

I picked the wrong night to get back to watching hockey.

Blowouts, get your steaming hot blowouts here
--Boston scored two shorthanded goals - one by rookie Brad Marchand for the first of his career - in opening a 4-0 lead en route to a 5-2 walloping of Buffalo. The Sabres started someone named Jhonas Enroth in goal instead of backup Patrick Lalime. Ryan Miller was out with an injury. Tim Thomas is apparently mortal, giving up two goals but stopping 33 other shots. Jack Edwards did indeed make a fuss about Thomas being only the Second Star of the month.
--All that goodness the Islanders had going for them is ovah. Carolina's stagnant offense exploded in a 7-2 rout of New York, getting two goals from Jonathan Matsumoto, the first two of his career. Sergei Samsonov had three assists and Cam Ward made 31 saves.
--Congratulations are in order for Pittsburgh, which made Dallas' 30th-ranked (note: that's last) penalty killing look not just competent but downright stellar in the Stars' 5-2 beatdown of the Penguins. Pittsburgh went 0-4 with the man-advantage, including a 1:37 5-on-3. Loui Eriksson scored twice, once on a penalty shot. Kari Lehtonen stopped all of 21 shots.

Other firsts
--New Jersey's Brad Mills got a fluke first NHL goal and it put the Devils ahead late in New Jersey's 5-3 win over Chicago. Mills' goal wasn't actually the game-winner. That went to Jamie Langenbrunner, who scored an empty net goal and had two assists. Seconds later, the Blackhawks made it 4-3 only to allow another empty net goal. Martin Brodeur left the game with an elbow injury but doesn't anticipate any major problems.
--Kyle Palmieri's first goal of his career came with 4:20 remaining in regulation to tie Anaheim's game with Tampa Bay, won by the Ducks 3-2 when Ryan Getzlaf scored in overtime. Teemu Selanne had a goal and assist and Jonas Hiller stopped 32 shots.

Thanks for nothing, dope
I had a nice little fantasy win coming from Michal Neuvirth, then he had to go screw it up by giving up three third-period goals to Toronto only to have his teammates save his ass in a 5-4 Washington shootout win. Alexander Semin had a goal and assist and a shootout tally.

Here's what else happened
--Chris Mason made a whopping 52 saves and Atlanta scored twice in 1:11 midway through the third period to pull out a 4-3 win over Florida. Fredrik Modin had two goals for the Thrashers.
--Mike Modano and Justin Abdelkader scored in the second period to give Detroit a 2-1 win over Calgary. Jimmy Howard needed to make just 16 saves.
--Ed Jovanovski had a rare hat trick from a defenseman, scoring his third goal on the power play in the third period to snap a 3-3 tie, and Phoenix edged Nashville, 4-3. Ilya Bryzgalov had 28 saves.

Is that nine games? I think that's nine games. I'm done now.

Screw hockey. Is it baseball season yet?