Here's a quick preview of storylines we can read about Thursday as Day 1 of the Stanley Cup playoffs is officially in the books.
--Marc-Andre Fleury will never give up a goal.
--Neither will Roberto Luongo.
--Steven Stamkos is a playoff choke-artist who will never score.
--Alexander Semin will lead the league in game-winning goals.
--Mike Fisher (two goals, three points) will win the Conn Smythe Trophy.
--Games 3 and 4 of the Detroit-Phoenix series should really just be played in Winnipeg, since the Coyotes are three games away from being moved.
--King Henrik? More like Henry the jester.
--Who needs Sidney Crosby when you have Arron Asham?
--Patrick Kane wishes he had a dime for every shot he had that didn't go in.
--Phoenix just needs Paul Bissonette in the lineup. Or at least tweeting from the bench; that could distract the Red Wings.
--The Ducks will get nasty when they're losing. (Oh, wait, this happens all the time.)
--Corey Perry hopes the Hart Trophy balloting has been completed after posting a minus-3 in Game 1.