(Warning: Profanity-laced tirade, possibly fueled by a case of Yuengling, incoming.)
I'm not going to call for the heads of Penguins general manager Ray Shero or head coach Dan Bylsma, but it's time for them to start rethinking how they build a hockey team.
Basically, this is what they need to do: Add skill, in Shero's case. Play skill, in Bylsma's case.
The Penguins are on the verge of blowing a 3-1 series lead (anyone who thinks Pittsburgh wins its series with Tampa Bay is delusional) and there are a variety of reasons why. What it comes down to is this team simply has no idea how to score a fucking goal.
Yeah, whatever. I know all-world talents Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin aren't in the lineup. They were in the lineup last year too when the team couldn't score, and it's because their supporting cast sucks donkey ass.
Yeah, whatever. I know they won the Stanley Cup in 2009 with a similar cast. That cast was actually better than the shit out on the ice right now.
Injuries happen. Who knows, Pittsburgh might not have Crosby and Malkin in the lineup should the Penguins somehow reach the playoffs next year. Got to have someone else who can at least be mildly competent in the offensive zone instead of just grind, and cycle, over, and over, and over, until you lose possession and the other team clears the zone. It's real tough to win games when you have all your offensive eggs in two players. During the regular season it's doable with the shootout but not in the playoffs.
Bylsma doesn't like to play certain players because, apparently, they're not "gritty" enough. They don't play the body enough, or some such bullshit like that. Fuck that. You don't win a game by out-hitting your fucking opponent. You do it by scoring more goals.
Hey, I like Pascal Dupuis. I like Max Talbot. Chris Conner's a nice little lightning bug with a great work ethic.
But for fuck's sake, if they're the ones carrying the offense, we're fucked. And look, a Game 7 that I doubt anyone in Pittsburgh expects a positive result from.
If they don't grind, they don't play. What the fuck kind of thinking is that? When the power play is 1 for a million, and has been shit for several years now, why don't you try and instill more offense in the fucking lineup instead of adding yet another fourth-line shithead to the roster?
You're telling me Alex Tanguay couldn't have been had? Kris Versteeg was what, too expensive in a trade? Ray Whitney had less value than Mike Rupp?
Whatever. At least I have only one more playoff game to pay for this season.