Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Post-Game Drunk Haiku Reax: Wild @ Perdators, 10/8/13

Mason here with 5-7-5 from good ol' 952. Another Wild season, another bastardization of the haiku form. Tonight I got all extra far-East and attempted writing whilst challenging my drunken balance atop a yoga ball. Like a doosh. I have no idea why. Ask Sierra Nevada Tumbler why.

Coupled with all the beer and core-engagement, it certainly felt like a challenging game for the Wild.
  • Ya know, the challenge Wild players faced while playing in awe amidst the Wild-fan-anointed savior that is Jason Zucker.
  • Ya know, the challenge of refereeing that lead to a weak 5-on-3 and a penalty shot which somehow resulted from a Predator running and injuring Backstrom.
  • Ya know, the challenge of an ice cold goalie coming in for that BS PS, and, upon giving up the goal, the subsequent Predator fans announcing to said cold goalie (who is overcoming all odds while playing the highest level of hockey in the world with M.-MFn-S.) "YOU SUCK."
  • Ya know, all that.

Challenges schmallenges. Try writing shitfaced haiku about an 0-3 team on a birthing ball. Blossoms and italics a'ho!


Beware old castoffs.
Mr. October Octobers
For the enemy.

Just gonna say it:
I’d watch Jamie Hersch and Walz
Pre-game… alllll niiiight looong.

Already sick of
Commercials I’ll be sick of
For the whole season.

Who boos anymore?
Booing is so plebian—
[Cooke takes the ice.] BOOOOOooooo…

Fighting should be banned
Cuz fights as boring as that
Can cause concussions.

Lapanta utters
“Forsberg” and my spine flutters,
So deep is the hate.

Wary, do I go
Out on a plumb blossom limb:
5 on 3s are bad.

This Perds stubbornness,
Don’t they know Zucker’s playing?
Not the chosen one?!

Though a goal we have,
The new Aways betray us
When goals are against.

It all reminds me…
Calming summers in Nippon
‘Cept with more sucking.

Only fools seek Hellfire.
Far more call for fire on Yeo.
Still idiots though.


"Art is dead!" they say.
A great spring is upon us.
Twit blossoms abound.

Forego 5-7-5
For characters 1-4-0.
Twitter... new haiku?


Hope too high to dare—
Vengence for thine wronged goalie.
The Man Stallion.
OR TAKE A MFn SLASHING PENALTY (my one haiku form veto)


Mr. October
Stills speaks with a reverence
For Minnesota.

Like Walz, like Brunette,
Hendrickson, of course Bomber,
Cullen will return.


All hope for haiku…
Lost. All energy, effort
On this yoga ball.

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